Pop! Goes my heart

Sunday was subtle, yet rewarding. The werewolf  had the privilege of watching this week's Tennessee Titans game from the sky-box of a good friend. While the Titans themselves made pee-wee footballers look like pros, it was an excellent way to share a professional sporting event with dear friends, consume multiple Budweiser red-coats mid-day, and briefly pretend to an avid NFL fan. Immediately post-game, the werewolf stumbled to a friend's house to help with miscellaneous chores and try and make himself useful. After demolishing a case of Bud Lite Lime - don't knock it till you try it! - watching a schlocky comedy seemed in order. The movie Music and Lyrics from 2007 was marginal at best. However, this cheese-dick interpretation of chart topping 80s music, which the film hinges on, has been in the frontal lob of this lobo for the last 24 hours. I caught myself humming it at the office today. Not unlike Bud Lite Lime, it gets better with each viewing. I promise!

Simple Minds: Don't You Forget About Me (live)

Haircut 100: Love Plus One

Another classic finger-dancing and sing along song when in the car.

Not sure whatever happened to these guys. Faded into forgotten obscurity.

Original vs. Cover: Nena/Goldfinger "99 luft balloons"

80s Euro rock vs. punk/ska. Like picking between my own offspring, I love them both.

Nena: 99 Luft Balloons (live)



Goldfinger: 99 Red Balloons (studio)

The Psychedelic Furs: Pretty in Pink (Live)

I am not sure if it is lamenting how awesome pop rock used to be, or how extreme the mullets in this video are, but this video makes for some worthy viewing.

Chess: Nobody's Side (Elaine Paige)

Chess is the werewolf's favorite rock opera. He wrote how influential it was during his formative years last winter. Elaine Paige has an incredible voice, yet her hair in the video could be the subject of a serious essay. Some things are inexcusable. The archaic graphics are signature 80s in a pleasant way.

Some powerful and honest lyrics. They will not fail you.

Everybody's playing the game
But nobody's rules are the same
Nobody's on nobody's side
Better learn to go it alone
Recognize you're out on your own
Nobody's on nobody's side

Original vs. Cover: Come on Eileen. Dexy's Midnight Runners vs. Save Ferris

"Come on Eileen" is one of those pleasant lighthearted songs that frequently gets a bunch of drunks at the bar  singing along even though nobody knows any the words other than "Come on Eileen." Naturally, this makes a great karaoke song. The werewolf has a fond memory of being on the stage at Lonnie's doing a duet with his dear friend, Patrick Bateman, and being stunned by Bateman's -whose over 6ft tall- ability to incorporate a limbo move of extraordinary difficulty while both intoxicated and singing. Random, I know.

The werewolf doesn't know anything about Dexy's Midnight Runners beyond this song. However, the cover, by the ska band Save Ferris - named after the legendary campaign in Ferris Bueller's Day Off - is one of the most vibrant and satisfyingly energetic songs out there. The werewolf sometimes struggles with where his ultimate musical allegiance rests. He grew up in the 80s, loves the cheese-dick synthesized sound of that era, and has all of his first memories to the music of 80s one hit wonders on the radio. In many ways, being an 80s geek is a hobby for the werewolf. However, the werewolf was becoming more self-aware and coming of age during the ascension of ska. His inner rebel always loved the shameless juvenile prankster and carefree punk that embedded in the DNA of ska. Tough call. That being said, and despite fancying himself a purist, there is no contest between original vs. cover in this instance. Save Ferris and the ska punksters manage to take a great song and make it better. No question. See for yourself.

Here's the original version by Dexy's Midnight Runners.





Here is the Save Ferris Version.

The Cure: Close To Me (Acoustic)

There is nothing like the The Cure for some easy Sunday afternoon listening.

Guilty Pleasure: Wang Chung - Dance Hall Days

Do you have a song you absolutely adore for no good reason? I do.

Wang Chung is a very decent (the best of era defining mediocrity that is) 80s new wave act. They have a few recognizable notches on their belt and they managed to land the score to William Friedkin's superb crime saga, To Live and Die in LA. They are one those forgettable one-hit-wonder bands, that have that one song the werewolf loves unconditionally. However, he would refuse to see Wang Chung live (hopefully they've long since retired) on account of the fact that their intrinsic mediocrity may ruin his cherished, if not inexplicable love affair with "Dance Hall Days." He likes the relationship just the way it is.

"Dance Hall Days" makes the werewolf bounce. It's his happy song. The ultimate guilty pleasure pick-me-up. Not unlike real key lime pie. If he is out, prowling about, and has been properly lubricated with alcohol, this song has been known to prompt him to grab a female in close proximity and start dancing like shameless goof. Or to just start bopping like the jackass he is known to be at times. He always liked the horn section and sax portions of this song. Like crushing on the nerdy chick, it's the favorite song he'll never list because it is so out there compared to his other preferences. Here's to savoring those inexplicable guilty pleasures that add-value for no apparent reason.

Echo and the Bunnymen: Lips Like Sugar - Live

Echo & The Bunnymen have been a perennial favorite of the werewolf since he stumbled onto them during college. That discovery was courtesy of one of history's greatest footnotes, Napster. What a find it was back in the day. He felt like Cortez stumbling upon the legendary Aztec city of Tenochtitlan and realizing the potential for something great. The song that pulled him into their orbit was actually the eerily addictive and chilling The Killing Moon. Echo & The Bunnymen served as the gateway that introduced the werewolf to the joys of Gary Newman, Peter Murphy, Tubeway Army and Joy Division along with the uniquely distorted electric sounds associated with the early 80s.

The song is great for other reasons. It tells the tale of that unattainable wench who steals our heart, drives our imagination wild in the most lascivious of ways, knows her power over us and leverages it as she tempts and teases with the sadistic cruelty normally reserved for a Spanish Inquisitor, while never allowing us the chance to follow through. You all know the type of women to whom I refer. Yet, we convince ourselves that the pay-off of enduring her torture is that her "lips are like sugar." What fools we men can be when it comes to allowing the fairer sex have imaginary dominion over us at times.

This song is on the karaoke bucket list. It'll take a bucket or two of beer to execute

The Cars Live: Bye, Bye Love

The Cars are one of those iconic 80s bands that don't get the credit they fully deserve. The werewolf remembers being a little boy and thoroughly enjoying "Moving in Stereo" and "Best Friend's Girl" on the radio. This live version of "Bye, Bye Love" showcases the innovation inherent in their music. Plus, what's not to love about the collection of rockin' mullets?

This song also makes the werewolf wonder something about the fairer sex. Why are certain women like bad luck pennies? They keep turning up when you need them least.
 

Duran Duran: A View To A Kill

There's nothing like a little blast from the past to lift deflated spirits. Despite being a hard-rocker at heart, the werewolf is an unapologetic fan of almost all things 80's. His Achilles heel is the pop music of that era. Duran Duran qualifies as one of his favorite distinctly 80's legacies. It's good to see that Duran Duran has aged relatively well and still performs their music with gusto and heart, while remaining true to their 80's roots.

This song holds an especially important place in the werewolf's black heart. Not only is it a guilty pleasure from the 80's, but it is also one of the better theme songs from a Bond film. The werewolf was raised on Bond films and loosely bases his life on emulating some things Bond. While the namesake Bond film leaves something to be desired and is one of the weaker installments in the venerable film franchise, there is no doubt that this song rates as one the best Bond themes. If you listen closely, you'll notice this song has a mean base line.

This song is definitely on the werewolf's karaoke list when he liberates himself from exile. Beware. He's got some mean moves planned to compensate for his lack of talent.

Hollywood plans to murder another part of my childhood. "A-Team Intro"

Let's be perfectly honest with ourselves. With a few modern exceptions, the 1980's was the height of syndicated television. The American viewing public was blessed with television shows like MacGuyver, Airwolf, The Equalizer, Murder She Wrote, Miami Vice, Magnum P.I., and the Dukes of Hazard. It was also supported by early morning cartoons like Transformers, Thundercats, and G.I. Joe. It was the perfect time to grow up in these United States.

The A-Team, in particular, is a strong testament to television of yore. Every time he watches the original intro to the A-Team, the werewolf's blackened heart lifts slightly with a few beats of joy. During the late 1980's and early 1990's, the good folks at channel 5 in Los Angeles had syndicated reruns of the the A-Team at 3pm, right when a young werewolf got home from his episcopal elementary school. After bolting to the kitchen to get a Capri-sun or Fruit Roll Up treat, the werewolf would plant himself in front of the television and watch the A-Team. It was the perfect reward for surviving another day of elementary school. Even as a young boy, the werewolf noticed that every episode of the A-Team had the exact same plot. The team has a close encounter with the military police, whom they evade, they then either go to a rough part of downtown L.A., or some boring suburb to find out that some honest small-time family oriented entrepreneur, or community do-gooder is being harassed and shaken down by some nefarious criminal element. After sizing up the bad guys, the team goes to a junk yard, and builds some sort of super arsenal from a discarded Chevy Caprice hulk, a gas pump, some spare parts, and and proceeds to have a battle where they spectacularly route the bad guys in question. Epic in its consistency. Added bonuses included the A-Team's ring leader, Hannibal Smith, incorporating at least three cool disguises, smoking a cigar, and exclaiming "I love it when a plan comes together!", followed by the business development guy, Templeton "Faceman" Peck, always getting the girl. The team's pilot and resident maladjusted weirdo, "Howling Mad" Murdoch, would talk to himself, dress in drag, and creep the hell out of the the team's muscle, mechanic, and token black guy, "B.A" Baracus, (played perfectly by MR. T), whom would frequently tell Murdoch to "Shut up, Foo!" and bust through a wall. It was the perfect formula to guide an eight year old through his weekly afternoon siesta. Being a native of Los Angeles, the werewolf loves the retro shot of the 1980's L.A. skyline in the opening credits, and still finds the 67lbs of gold jewelry that B.A. Baracus allegedly wore through the jungles of Vietnam to be a great source of comic relief.

However, much to the eternal horror of the werewolf, he recently learned that in a fit of uncreative idiocy and desperation, the bozos in Hollywood will be releasing an A-Team movie this summer. Check it here. It's one thing to revive classic movie franchises like Star Trek and James Bond, both which Hollywood has done with some success lately. However, poaching hyper-formulaic syndicated television shows for the big screen is a sign of massive decline. First of all, by it's very nature, there really isn't enough content for more than about 37 minutes of A-Team execution time. That's what made it so beautiful. It was a one-hour date with little boy escapism. Secondly, certain personas just can't be replicated. Taking some mean looking burly black guy, giving him a mohawk, 67lbs of gold jewelry, and some bad attitude doesn't make him Mr. T. Mr. T is the god-father of bling himself, which the rappers shamelessly co-opted, plus he is an established icon, he is the D-rated minority version of John Wayne. Still, he is a class unto himself. Beyond that, as much as the werewolf loves Liam Neeson, he is no George Peppard. George Peppard is a one-of-a-kind B-rated debonair gentleman , whose sunset acting career cruise as Hannibal Smith is a legacy best left untouched. Like most shows of the 1980's, the A-Team was a product of carefree justice meets nifty urban action in an era where political correctness was still dormant on daytime television. It was okay to be a roguish "soldier of fortune" with a case of AK-47's in your trunk looking for a fight. That just doesn't fly in this day and age. Sadly.

The werewolf's final point is looking at what happened to G.I. Joe. His favorite cartoon as a little boy, G.I. Joe, was transmogrified from the ultimate patriotic childhood 1980's cartoon to quite possibly the worst film ever made. It went from being a neat collection of American and international bad-asses, fighting terrorism, each with their own distinct skills and hyper-individuality, to the unwatchable cinematic abortion of globalist vapidity and boring special effects conformity. It was clearly written by a lobotomized orangutan looking for a rotten banana. Watching G.I. Joe's cinematic interpretation last summer was akin to watching my childhood home get napalmed. A part of me died in the cinematic blaze. I fear Hollywood doesn't know when to quit, especially when it is far behind, and will proceed with Hannibal Lector like efficiency to dispatch everything I hold dear from my childhood, one item at time. Nothing is sacred in this day and age.

A Bias We Can't Control - One Night in Bangkok (from the musical Chess) - Murray Head

The werewolf loves musicals and the theater. When the werewolf lived in London many years ago, and wasn't drinking pina coladas in Trader Vic's (something he was known to do on occasion), he could frequently be found sniffing around for the best student prices to a variety of theater productions. It was a highlight for him.

In one of the weird ironies of life, the werewolf's favorite musical to this day is Chess, the frenetic love triangle drama shrouded in the mystery of the Cold War with music written by Abba's very own Bjorn Ulvaeus and Benny Anderson. To double down on weirdness, the werewolf can find absolutely no utility for anything Abba. He sometimes considers their existence criminal. Much to the werewolf's eternal dismay, the West End run of Chess ceased in April of 1989, when he was an eight year old boy.

To make things even weirder, Murray Head's hit song from Chess, "One Night in Bangkok," featured in the title of this post, dovetailed perfectly with that synthesized sound that made the music of the 1980's one life's greatest guilty pleasures. I think it was one of the few times a musical generated a top song for the international pop charts.

Chess fell into my life when my father brought the cassette recordings back after seeing the actual production of it during a business trip to London in the late 1980's. I recall being in the car with one of my parents and it playing in the background and being utterly captivated by the diplomatic exchange between the Americans and Soviets in one of the acts. Having been keenly interested in the Cold War since about age five(I was born a Cold Warrior some think), I felt a special bond to the musical from that point onward. In fact, I "permanently" borrowed the cassettes from my parents and would regularly blast my favorite songs of Chess from my woefully inadequate Fischer-Price tape-deck.

The werewolf has been wondering what drives his love for the one musical he'll never be able to see. Beyond the natural associations of the Cold War plot, cheese-dick synthesized 80's sound, and fond childhood recall, there has to be something more.

Does the inability to see something we've imagined for so long physically manifest itself strengthen our fondness for it because we are able to project our ideal of what it should be without experiencing the corruption that the real world inevitably brings? Is it akin to the imagined relationship with the crush who got away? Or hearing stories about that fascinating bad-ass great uncle, you've never met, who fought in several wars, invented something spectacular, and bedded every worthy maiden in the hemisphere, all while "three sheets from the wind?" I only ask because having been to so many productions, and having enjoyed most of them, utterly loved a few, and deeply disliked some, I always say to myself, "still not Chess." It's perfectly irrational, yet, it's a bias I just can't shake.

For the inquiring readers, here are some links to the werewolf's favorite songs from Chess. If you have a few minutes to kick around, listen up! (Shameless promotion)

CHESS: The American and Florence - "Nobody´s Side"
The second half really picks up, plus there is excellent relationship advice embedded "Everybody is playing the game, but nobody's rules are the same." How true!

CHESS: "Opening Ceremony"
This piece is long and introduces us to the the referee (my favorite character), plus the American and Soviet delegations. Hearing it all those years ago in my father's Chrysler New Yorker was the beginning of a strange odyssey.

CHESS: "The Deal ( No Deal)"
Nothing like some backroom Cold War intrigue.

CHESS: "Merano"
Great transition from symphony to synthesized at about the 3:43 mark.

Keytar Hero.

While working out this afternoon, my iPod mix threw Don Henley's 1984 hit "All She Wants to Do Is Dance" at me. I've always enjoyed this song, but hadn't heard it in awhile. When I got home, I decided to check out the music video. Boom! This video shamelessly features the keytar. There are a plethora of amazingly kitsch details that help make the 80's so great, but considering the distinctive synthesized sounds that so accurately capture the essence of the 80's, the keytar certainly tops of the list.

I am huge fan of both Rock Band and Guitar Hero. They both helped me get through business school. I was just wondering has a Keytar Hero supplement or addition been formally developed for either of those games? This may qualify as one of the worst ideas of all time list, however, I think there would be a healthy market for such a product. Any takers?